Up From Darkness
by katta16
Summary: The pain that shapes Tom Paris today is more than anyone realized. Will people see him for the victim he is? Will he let them? Chapter 2 is up please review.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer; I don't own voyager, Tom Paris, Harry, Janeway etc.

Rating: PG-13 to be safe because of prison camp i.e. torture

Summery: The pain that shapes Tom Paris today is more than anyone realized. Will people see him for the victim he is, Will he let them.

Pairings: P, Crew (p/t friendship/romance implied)

Part 1 of ?

Up From Darkness

The first thing Tom realised, was the cold. It woke him up, expressing no sympathy for the young boy. His eyes opened, expecting to see his room, with his things inside it. He didn't. Instead all he saw was black, pitch black. The cold hit him again, and this time it was accompanied by a smell that nearly made him throws up, and did make him choke.

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, the seven-year-old waited patiently for this nightmare to end. The smell however continued to assault his senses. After five minutes, he gave up. And once again opened his eyes. His view hadn't changed, as he still was looking at what was later found to be a wall. Sitting up slowly, wrapping his arms around himself as he did so he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He knew by now he wasn't in his room, as the ground beneath him was hard and slightly sticky, like mud. He reached out quickly, trying to be brave like his father had told him. He knew he had to find out where he was. That is what starfleet officers do. That's what his father would do too, and of he was going to be a hero one day, he was going to have to be at least a little bit brave now. His hand came in contact with the wall that had been hidden in front of him for the entire time. To Tom it didn't feel mu7ch like the walls he knew, they were hard and smooth. These walls were damp, and had jagged pieces sticking out with them. Suddenly, someone coughed. Tom jerked back so quickly, he feel back on his side and cried out as he did so. He wasn't alone, and whomever he was with, he didn't know. For now he sat, mud covering his arms and face from his slipping, looking at a room full of people. They mostly slept from what he could see, though some were sitting, heads in their hands. Now that he listened he could hear a soft murmur as the people breathed.

Why hadn't he noticed this before? Was he that bad, he couldn't even spot twenty odd people sleeping behind him? Then lighted flooded in from an unknown source above him and a door to his left screamed open. He was momentarily blinded by the light, as were most of the room's occupants. But he heard the voice of his captor, and it was enough to drive fear through his heart and out the other side.

"Welcome to Krisist," spoke the cardassian guard in a harsh voice, which itself contradicted his statement. "I'll be your section officer until you die, how soon that is, is up to you. You are here because we want you here, and you are our prisoners from this moment on…" Tom kept silent through his speech, like the other prisoners being too afraid to do anything. One man, however did stand, anger shiny fully blazed in his dark eyes.

"I won't be kept prisoner by some cardy…" He was dead before he finished his sentence. And the room suddenly came to life with gasps and screams as his body, recently shot, crumbled to the floor.

"You are all expendable…remember that" The guard carried on, a smirk filtering across his face, and then vanishing so fast, Tom wondered if he imagined it. He was afraid, he was actually terrified, who wouldn't be. The only thing that kept him from crying was his father's voice, telling him to be brave, and to be strong. He tried desperately to block out the cardassians voice as he spoke of the horror they all faced. He tried to tell himself that his dad was a hero, a real one. And any minute now, him and his crew would come bursting through that door, that door where the guards stood. And they would save him, without effort. He waited, watching the door.

They didn't come.

He was brought back to reality with a start, when he felt himself being pulled roughly from the floor by one of the section guards' goons. The Cardassian's eyes were hard and cold, and he spoke in a menacing voice.

"MOVE" Tom noticed that all the prisoners were being herded into another room, and quickly ran to keep up with them. The others seemed not to notice the small boy, concerned more for their own safety. To scared to comfort him as he tried desperately to keep up with the fast moving crowd. He didn't want to be last, as behind them, the same guard, with the cold eyes, brought up the rear with a huge phaser rifle.

As the moved Tom looked around, all the walls and floors appeared to be brown stone, but they looked more like mud. It reminded him of the books his dad used to read him, about underground caves and caverns. He couldn't see any natural light, only that which came from the beams which stuck out of the ceiling. The hall they walked down was like none he had ever seen. Instead of doors leading off to different room, there were just holes, like cave entrances leading to, what he decided, were just slightly indented caves. Not rooms at all, just holes. For animals. And like animals peoples sat in the hovels, trying to back there way deep into the mud walls, and attempting to remain out of the guard's view. Some managed to, others didn't. A couple of minutes later, they came to a large empty space. It was at this point that Tom noted his own attire, his pajamas were gray, and now were covered in brown and filthy as a result of lying on the mud floor. His trousers were starting to rip and the knees, but known of that mattered to him at the moment. For his main concern was about the band that was firmly placed on his wrist. He looked around and noted silently that everyone appeared to have the same device on them. Some, like he, had been to caught up in the situation to notice, others had there hands hidden, trying desperately to take it off, as if that what symbolise some sort of realise from their captivation.

There was suddenly a loud buzzing that managed to cause his ear to ache. Just as quickly as the sound started, it stopped. Some knew what was happening, and panicked. Knowing well that the guards had received orders from above. The cardassian soldiers moved forward, and looked at the wristbands.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the guard walked passed him. He looked at his wristband, and saw nothing different to what he had seen before. Looking top the side of him, he watched as a young man of about twenty-four, stared at his arm. There was something different about his band. And it wasn't until they took him away that he released what had been amiss. A little light that barely shone at all. That's what they did when they wanted you up there. And up there was a place Tom knew he didn't want to be.

As the guards left the remaining people started openly panicking. Some cried over their own misfortune. Others mourned the loss of their loved. Tom remained silent, afraid of what consequences him speaking would have. So instead, he walked back the way they had came, searching subconsciously for a safe haven from this dismal reality. No one noticed his departure. No one had seen the small boy in the first place. His hands reached out behind him and sought out the wall that he knew was there. He felt his way along, at all times keeping an eye on his surroundings, fearful of anyone seeing his feeble attempts for isolation. No one saw. His hands stopped when he felt the sudden change in depth. Taking a large step backwards, he sunk into the indented wall, back into the darkness, which gave some privacy for the prisoners of this camp. Tom sunk down, grabbing at his knees at the hope that the connection would provide the much-needed comfort he desired. It didn't, it only made the sinking feeling that had been building up in his stomach all this time worse.

He felt like crying, and never stopping, but tried to refrain from doing so. What would his father think if he saw him now? Sniveling in a corner like a baby. Wanted to scream out for him mother. His father was a hero; he would come get him out, so why did he feel so lost.

When the first tear came he felt ashamed by his action. And fiercely wiped it away. Tom remembered his father's words, and felt weak. When his tear was followed by yet another, and more after that. All he felt was hopeless; he stopped caring about his tears, and let them come.

All he had to do was wait, and his father would come for him. And he would come…soon.

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"So let me get this straight," Tom tried hard not to laugh at his thoughts, and keep a straight face while his newly acquired friend spoke. "You told Professor Mitchell that you were going to tell your mum about his attitude to you." This concept was nearly unbearable to him when he though it and it was impossible for him to keep a straight face now he had said it out loud.

"I was young, and… he intimidated me and…well you may think it stupid, but I never got a mean word out of him again." Harry exclaimed, a strong blush already creeping up his neck. Tom, who while Harry had tried to explain his actions, had in fact caught his breath. Though was still struggling to keep in control.

"Well, I guess Mrs. Kim's reputation precedes her," Tom threw back, a smirk flooding over his face. Harry looked annoyed for a second, then gave into humor and laughed as well. He was glad he hadn't taken Tom's advice. Paris was a laugh, and he actually believed somewhere beneath the sarcasm was a nice guy. Somewhere.

They had been stuck in the Delta quadrant for a little over a month now, and the marqui and starfleet crews were slowly but surely started in combine to Janeway and even chakotays delight. The only person, who really wasn't fitting in, was Paris. The rebellious ex-con, ex-starfleet, ex marqui, ex you name it, he has been there and betrayed it guy. Not the best reputation, Tom himself had admitted, but he really didn't care much for it anyway. And Harry had believed him; the man just didn't let it get to him. A quality that was disconcerting to the young ensign, who wasn't ashamed to admit, he knew no one like Tom Paris.

Tom's voice brought him out of his wondering, and he looked up to see the older man standing up in preparation to leave. 

"Unless you want another helping of whatever 'that' is," He exclaimed, pointing at his half eaten bowl of purple mush, "We better get going to the bridge." Harry smiled, and got up as well, grabbing their trays and disposing the offending item, they started their retreat from the Mess hall.

That's when it happened. A voice that shouted out from among the crowd, insulting one of them without regard for his feelings.

"Try to fly straight, don't hit anything like Before. There were some sniggers coming from both Marqui and starfleet, all of them knowing full well what the comment was in reference to. Harry turned around, appalled by the insult to a senior officer, and to his friend. Tom just stopped, and didn't turn around to put the voice to the face.

Tom knew it appeared cowardly, his young green friend standing up for him, while he ran away. But that was the way it had to be, the way it had always been. He couldn't risk getting angry, so angry he may say something that he would not only regret, but also be blamed for. But, damn, it was at times like these, after comments like that; that he just wanted to scream at them all. Tell them all what he had been through, what he had seen. For once he just wanted people to understand why he was Tom Paris, arrogant pup of the delta quadrant. But that just wasn't possible, he knew that.

He was strong, not a hero. But still strong, and the strong should refuse the title of victim with pride.

Yet as he walked away now, Harry's hand tapping his shoulder, laughter still emanating from the mess hall, he didn't feel so proud.

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Tom sat there crying in his cave for what seemed like days, too afraid to risk moving form his retreat, trying to stay hidden from danger. The boy tried not to think of his home, tried to forget his room. He had never felt this alone before, he wanted his mum, and he wanted his dad, he would even settle for his sisters right now, even though they teased him.

He had decided when he found his cave, on the first day that he would wait right here until help came. And he had done so, keeping his eyes closed form the horror around him. He knew he had slept a bit, even though he had wanted to stay awake. But the one thing that scared him most about here, was the noise. He had never known a place to be so quiet, and yet so loud to the listener's ears. Someone out there was always crying, it never stopped.

Since he got here, no one had come near him, and he was glad. These people scared him. Though he hated here, wherever that was, he liked the confines of his cave. It was safer than out there, he knew that. And if he had the choice, he would have stayed here until his father arrived. But he couldn't do that, for his stomach had started to protest, and his mind was starting to agree with it. He needed to eat something. Anything. He had gone for a while without food, and was starting to feel ill.

They must feed people here, otherwise what would be the point. He looked up, the cost looked clear. Slowly he started to back out of his cave, his legs shaking. He tried to calm down and walk faster. He didn't get out far from the cave, as he hit a large body. He stopped, his breath caught in his throat as he looked into long legs and black boots. At first he was sure it was a guard, but as his scared eyes traveled upwards he knew he was wrong. The legs belonged to a humanoid that Tom swore was taller than his father. The name of it on the edge of his tongue it came to him. Klingon.

It spoke once. "Food"

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I'm sorry, I know this is a new story, and I haven't finished my others yet, but I have just finished my exams, YAY. And having been dying to right this storyline. I have actually nearly done soul keepers and have started the second vengeance of mialka chapter so I'm being good. Please tell me what you think of this, I really need feedback otherwise I think no ones reading it and loose interest.

Thanks a lot.

Katta16


	2. two

_He stopped, his breath caught in his throat as he looked into long legs and black boots. At first he was sure it was a guard, but as his scared eyes traveled upwards he knew he was wrong. The legs belonged to a humanoid that Tom swore was taller than his father. The name of it on the edge of his tongue it came to him. Klingon.___

_It spoke once. "Food"___

The large Klingon woman looked exactly like the ones he has seen in the war books, and she had a raw look in his eye that made him feel the very pit of his stomach. She continued to stare right at him, through his eyes and into his head. She seemed annoyed as her breathing was heavy, and she kept grunting at him. Tom didn't know what to expect, or do. Her statement scared him, he hadn't thought that Klingons ate humans, but then again this place was different to any place he had ever been. He noticed he was crying silently as she continued to observe him, and let out a small scream when her hand bent down and painfully grasped his shoulder. This was it, all his father would find was remains, for this Klingon was probably hungrier than him, and was going to do something about it. All that was left was to close his eyes, and wait for the inevitable to come.

He felt the hand that still clung onto his shoulder, pull him around, and the rough voice spoke again.

"Open your eyes human," He didn't want to obey, but he felt he had no choice. Feeling his eyelid open, he focused on what was in front of him.

Food. In troughs, the prisoners were fighting to get handfuls of it and then running back to their hideouts. It was a desperate picture, but now Tommy understood what the Klingon had been trying to tell him. For this reason, he feared her less, she had been brave enough to help him. She was here to help, not to hinder his survival. She roughly pushed him towards the food, but this time he moved quickly in response with glee. He wasn't alone here anymore. He wasn't alone.

* * *

He was finally alone in his quarters where he could breath a sigh of relief. Today had been infuriating, and rumors of what had happened this lunch were already circulating. Paris leaving without a fight and only an ensign standing up for him. He wouldn't be surprised if Harry got tired of all this and decided to make friends with people who cared. But he didn't want that, he really didn't know what he would have done if it wasn't for Harry. The kid may be a little green, but he was smart and had more guts than Tom had ever imagined.

Other than Harry, he was on his own. It was true that the Captain showed a lot of faith in him, but she maintained such distance, perfecting her captaincy even out here. If there were one person on this crew that he wished to no better it was Kes. She reminded him so much of Moira it was uncanny. She had that calm exterior but had hints of a fiery soul. He missed Moira greatly, she had always been there for him, after his escape from Krisist she had been the one he confided in, even though he barely remembered her face. She had visited him in Auckland behind their fathers back, and he had ideas that she had even kept tabs on him when he became no better than a penniless drunk. Now, she was nowhere near, and he was desperate for release. She had always seen past his façade, the one he now refused to let down even around Harry.

Walking across the room, Tom sat down of the sofa. In the comfort of these quarters, his situation here on voyager didn't seem so bad. God knew he had been in worse, but he didn't like to think about his time in Krisist, it was to long ago to bring those memories to surface now. Not that he remembered a lot about it, only certain things that happened, things of significance. And the people there as well, the good, and the bad. He always found it easy to forget about in the day…ever since they found him, near death on that planet, 5 years after he had first been reported missing, ever since his kidnapping.

Those first few days had always been a blur to him, the panic, and the hunger. On person he would never forget was Rali, the Klingon women who had taken him under her wing those first few days. She hadn't been what Tom could describe as nice, but she had kept him alive, and taught him how to survive in that place.

Sighing, Tom tried to stop this train of thought and change it to something more positive. He still had nightmares about the day when she disappeared, yet he always knew she was dead. She had been taken up top, and no one survived that.

The chime brought him back to the present, yet it seemed like he could still smell the blood and sweat which has inhabited Krisist. But this was no time to think of such things. Again the door chimed, and Tom called out so the visitor could come in.

Harry stormed through the door in haste, and sat down without asking on the sofa next to Tom. The gesture itself made Paris smile, a couple of months ago, Harry would have been terrified to be so casual around a more senior officer, or around anyone actually. Now they had grown to become friends Harry was as casual as Tom ever was. The visitor finally spoke, and Tom had known from he minute he had arrived that this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.

"I want you to go to the Captain," He had been right, Harry, dear Harry was always one to want to use the official channels, who still believed in the good and bad and all that fairy tale stuff. Tom tried to smile, though he knew he couldn't talk his way out of this one, as this wasn't the first time that someone had made a scene about Tom's position on this ship.

"About what…" His sentence was cut off, and this was to be expected. Harry was not going to give up this time, and Tom felt anxious, he didn't want to have to go to the captain. He knew it would just get worse if he did, and that was one thing he couldn't take. What if he snapped, then it would all come out…all of it, stuff even his father didn't know.

"About what happened in the mess hall, listen if you don't talk to the Captain…I will. See you at the briefing," And with that he left, leaving Tom feeling desolate. He just knew he couldn't let that happen. He wasn't going to be a victim again, ever. Here he was, them thinking him strong. They couldn't know the truth.

* * *

I'm sorry this took me so long, but i thought i write this after i had a number of reviews so here it is. I just got my exam results and am now forever in a good mood so should be writing more soon. I go back to school soon so I'll try to get as much as possible done when I can. This chapter isn't long but I'm tired so sorry.

Kate


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